Question: Can men and women shake hands together?
NOTE : Respect
of women and their rights to their own body and whether or not they
allow men to touch them is at the very core of this answer. Keep in
mind, Allah is the one who knows best what he has created and what the
needs and limits are for each of us.
Shaking
hands (and touching) members of the opposite sex when closely related,
is not permissable for Muslims according to the teachings of Islam.
Why?
This
is to discourage physical contact which could lead to familiarity that
is unwarranted or undesired by the lady. It could also be the initial
cause for desire within the man.
Is it only Islam that has a problem?
Actually,
men shaking hands with women was not totally accepted by society even
in the United States less than one hundred years ago.
Unless it was
through proper introduction and the woman had first extended her hand
toward the gentleman it was considered improper for a man to extend his
hand if the lady had not offered hers.
Also, it was only expected the man would hold only the tips of her fingers, and to lower his gaze.
Check
it out for yourself and see how much society has deviated away from
some of the very basic principles in social interaction between males
and females.
Answer - First: It is not permitted
for a believing man to touch a woman who is not allowed for him
(allowed includeds: mother, wife, sister, daughter, etc.). Whoever does
this has wronged himself (sinned).
There is a hadeeth (narration of an event) from Ma'qil ibn Yassar, saying; The prophet, peace be upon him said,
"It is better for you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle than to touch the hand of a woman who is not permissible to you."[At-Tabarani in "Al Kabir, #486. Shaikh Albani said in Sahih al-Jaami' it is sahih #5045]
This
alone should be enough to keep away from this action and to instill
obedience to Allah, as it implies touching women may lead to temptation
and immorality.
Ayesha, the wife of the prophet, peace be upon him, said:
'When
the believing women migrated (to Medina) and came to the prophet, peace
be upon him, they would be examined in accordance with the words of
Allah (in Quran):
"O
Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the bai'a (pledge
of allegience), that they will not associate anything in worship with
Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal
sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they
will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e. by making
illegal children belonging to their husbands), and that they will not
disobey you in any Ma'ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that which Islam
ordains) then accept their bai'a (pledge of allegience), and ask Allah
to forgive them, Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful".
[Quran: Surah Al Mumtahinah 60:12]
Any
of the believing women who accepted the conditions of the verse and
agreed to live by them were considered to have offered themselves for
giving their oaths of allegiance.
When they declared their committment to do so, the prophet, peace be upon him, would say to them,
"You may go. I have confirmed your allegiance."
I
swear by Allah, the prophet's hand never touched the hand of a woman.
He would receive their oath of allegiance by spoken declaration.
I
swear by Allah, the prophet, peace be upon him, never took any vow from
women except what Allah had ordered him to take and his palm never
touched the palm of a woman.
When he had taken their pledge, he would tell them he had taken their oath from them orally.
(Sahih Al Muslim Book on Government, Hadtih #4602)
Ayesha said:
'Any
of the believing women who agreed to that had passed the test, and when
the women agreed, the prophet, peace be upon him, said to them: 'Go,
for you have given your oath of allegiance.'"No. (I swear) by
Allah, the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, never touched the
hand of any woman; instead they would give their oath of allegiance with
words only."
And Ayesha said: 'By Allah, the prophet, peace be
upon him, only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner
prescribed by Allah, and the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him,
never touched the hand of any woman. When he had received their oath of
loyalty and allegiance he would say, 'I have accepted your oath of
allegiance verbally."[Sahih Muslim, #1866]
(The
prophet of Allah, peace be upon him) did not touch women who were not
permissible (shaking hands, etc.). This despite the fact the oath of
allegiance was orginally given by hand.
So what about these other men (going around shaking hands)?
Umaymah bint Raqeeqah said:
'The prophet, peace be upon him, said, "I do not shake hands with women (not permissible to touch)."
[An-Nasaai, #4181 and Ibn Majah, #2874; Albani declared it sahih; Al Jami, #2513]
Second:
It's not permissable to shake hands even with a barrier (such as a garment)
in between. There is an unacceptable narration (da'eef; not authentic)
saying the prophet, peace be upon him, used to shake hands with women
from beneath a garment.
(see:
At-Tabarani in Al-Awsat, #2855). Al Haythami said: 'This was narrated
by At-Tabarani in Al Kabir and Al Awsat. The chain of narrators includes
'Atab ibn Harb, who is da'eef (weak in narrations). [Majam' al-Zawad'id, 6/39]
Wali Ad-Din Al Iraqi said:
'The words of Ayesha, "He used to accept the women's oath by words
only" means he did so without taking their hands or shaking hands with
them. This indicates the bay'ah (oath) of men was accepted by shaking
hands, as well as words, and this is how it was. What Ayesha mentioned
was the custom.'
Some mufassireen (type of scholar)
mentioned the prophet, peace be upon him, asked for a vessel of water
and dipped his hand in it, then the women dipped their hands in it. And
some of them said he did not shake hands with them from behind a barrier
and had a cloak from Qatar over his hand. And it was said 'Umar, may
Allah accept from him, shook hands with them on his behalf.
None of these reports are true, especially the last one. How could 'Umar, may Allah accept from him, have done something the prophet, peace be upon him, would not do?
[Tarh Al-Tathreeb, 7/45]
Sheikh Abdulaziz ibn Baz (Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabi, d. May, 1999), Allah's Mercy on him), said:
'The
most correct view is this (shaking women's hands with something in
between) is not allowed at all, because of the general meaning of the
hadith, wherein the prohet, peace be upon him, said, "I do not shake
hands with women (who are not related)" in order to avoid the way
leading to evil.
[Adapted from Hashiyat Majmoo'at Rasal'il fil Hijab wa Sufor, p. 69]
Third:
The
same rule applies to shaking hands with older women; it is also
forbidden due to the general meaning of the texts on the issue. The
reports saying it is permissible - are weak (da'eef).
Al-Zayla'i said:
'As
for the report saying Abu Bakr used to shake hands with old women, it
is ghareeb (strange in its chain of narrators, not acceptable in this
case).
[Nasab Al-Rayah, 4/240]
Ibn Hajar said: 'I cannot find this hadeeth."
[Al-Dirayah fil Takhreej Al Hadith al-Hidayah, 2/225]
Fourth:
[We now list the opinions of the four schools of jurisprudence (mathabs)]:
With regard to the views of the four imams, they are as follows:
1 - Hanafiya (Abu Hanifa) The Hanafi madhhab:
Ibn
Nujaym said: 'It is not permissible for a man to touch a woman's face
or hands even when there's no risk of desire because it is haraam in
principle and there is no necessity to allow it.'
[Al-Bahr al-Raa'iq, 8/219]
2 - Maliki (Imam Malik) The Maaliki madhhab:
Muhammad
ibn Ahmad ('Ulaysh) said: 'It's not permissible for a man to touch the
face or hand of a non-mahram woman (not related), and it is not
permissilbe for him to his hand on hers without a barrier. Ayesha, may
Allah be pleased with her, said: 'The prophet, peace be upon him, never
accepted a woman's oath of allegiance by shaking hands with her; instead
he would accept their oath of alleginace in words alone.'
According
to another report: 'His hand never touched the hand of a woman, instead
he would accept their oath of allegiance with words alone.'
[Manh Al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel, 1/223]
3 - Shafiy (Imam Muhammad ibn Idris Ash-Shafi) Shafi Mathab:
Imam
Al-Nawawi (author of Al-Arba'een and Riyadus Salahin) said, "It is not
permitted to touch a woman (not properly related) in any way.
[Al Majmoo' 4/515]
Wali A-Din Al-Iraqi said,
'This
indicates the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, did not touch the
hand of any woman except for those permissible to him, whether in the
case of accepting their oath of allegiance or in other cases. If he
didn't do it in spite of the fact he was far above suspicion, then it is
even more essential for others to heed this prohibition. It appears
from the texts he didn't do it because it was forbidden for him to do
so.
The fuqaha (scholars of jurisprudence) among our companions and others say it is forbidden to touch a non-mahram (not properly related) woman even if it is touching any part of her body that is not a part of her 'awrah (private area between the navel and the knees), such as her face.
But their differences of opinon occured regarding looking (at them) when there is no desire and no fear of fitnah (serious calamity).
The
prohibition of touching is stronger even than the prohibition of
looking, and it is forbidden when there is no necessity to allow it.
In
the case of necessity, such as medical treatment, removing a tooth or
treating the eyes, if there is no woman available to do provide the
treatment, then it is allowed for a man to do it because of the
necessity.
[Tarh At-Tathreeb 7/45 #46]
4 - Hanbali (Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal) Hanbali Mathab
Ibn
Muflih said about Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, that he was asked about a man
who shakes hands with a woman. His answer was, 'No' and it was
emphatically forbidden. When he was asked about shaking hands having
some cloth in between he said, 'No'.
Shaikh Taqiy ul-Din also held the view it was prohibited and gave the reason, touching is more serious than looking.Al-Adaab al-Shari'ah, 2/257
And Allahu 'Alim (Allah is the All-Knower)